The door is closed.

[The music plays, that same voice, that delicate voice heard throughout the town.]

I tried to tell him not to go, but he insisted that he had to do so. He had a wanderer's spirit but he forgot that all those who wander are usually lost. Or will end up lost themselves.

Welcome to Night Vale.

Listeners I am thrilled to announce that we have hired a number of new interns. Our hiring process being very secret and selective, I can only imagine what this group will be capable of. I do not know any of their names and some refuse to tell me, but for those that vanish in the hidden corners of the station ten to twenty usually arise to take their places.

Interns are like rats, we have found. If one disappears there's usually fifty in hiding.

Our top story tonight. Night Vale is proud to welcome a new business listeners. The Traveler's Inn has opened it's doors to trade, guests, and trading guests. Hoping to draw perspective individuals from other places that might not exist and places that will eventually exist, as well as places locally except for Desert Bluffs of course - the Traveler's Inn boasts a swimming pool, a gym, and an unending supply of rooms to house the many guests that we as locals are sure to be proud to receive. Locals are highly discouraged from visiting.

I tried to get an interview with the hotel's management and instead was able to speak to the employees of the McDonalds that has been built across the street. When asked about what would attract new guests to Night Vale I was told by a drive thru clerk that the hotel's motivations are it's own and that it would do as it would do without our consent. Attempts to meet with hotel staff were met with resistance yet again by the McDonalds employees who then created a barricade of bodies across the front entrance chanting "Guests only, guests only, guests only." More on this story as it develops.

The Town Council has announced plans for developing a community theater troupe. This second attempt at introducing culture into our fair city, will feature pyrotechnics, performances in our stadium, and possible satanic influences brought about by local playwrights. Individuals interested in auditioning should write their interest on a piece of paper and bury it in a time capsule. It will be received in due course, if not by us then by future residents of Night Vale who will note your dedication to art and culture and possibly think you are nicer then you already are.

Today's program is brought to you by television. Do not adjust your sets. Do not adjust your dial. We are controlling everything. Sit back.

Sit back and listen to the static.

Let go. Let go of thought. Let go of hope. Let go of feeling. We shall think for you. We shall feel for you. We shall live your life for you while you sit, bloated, foul and stinking in your easy chair enjoying easy entertainment.

Television. It's more real then radio, and soon much more real then reality.

...Listeners I have just been handed an important notice which ...apparently arrived by carrier pigeon as the Sheriff's secret police are now afraid to use their phones. The Traveler's Inn, being open for business, trade, and trading business has guests. Guests are arriving in the traveler's inn to speak with hotel management, to do business and to trade and possibly trade business, with us.

I'd like to take this moment to offer welcome to our new visitors, if they are potential overlords or oppressed minions. Do not be afraid of us, your new neighbors. Instead, think of us as your friends. Like any good friend, we'll be here to help you, to laugh with you, cry with you, bury your body so that it won't be fed upon by ravening wolves and coyotes. Drag you inside in the event of an apocalyptic event, and put a bullet in your brain should you happen to become one of the flesh eating undead. I'm Cecil. And I will be the friend recording your laughs, you triumphs, warning you, protecting you, and writing your end in the book of ages - after all endings are big news. Just ask politicians and middle eastern countries.

With the announcement that the hotel has opened it's business, Tip-Top Tooth Company is offering free samples of it's brand new teeth cleaner "Sparkle Glow." A box has instantly appeared in my station, and the interns are sampling it as we speak. Given that many of our guests have been kidnapped, Tip Top Tooth Company has donated a large box of it to the hotel with the words, "Sorry, buildings can sometimes kidnap people. Just ask any good museum or shopping mall."

With that note, let's all take a moment to relax, freshen our breath, brighten our smile, while listening to - the weather.

Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars

[When Cecil returns he sounds harried and breathless.] attention new arrivals and townspeople. Do not use Tip Top Tooth Cleaner! Repeat! Do not use tip-top tooth cleaner! Intern Jessica has developed long fangs that appear to be growing longer. Other interns are developing mouths full of long pointy fangs and I believe that Paul is now growing claws from the tips of his finger nails.

While we're on the subject of nails, the town council has issued a statement to the guests at the Traveler's Inn and to the citizens of Night Vale. I have been handed an eight track tape listeners, with a notation on it to "Play and Insist that the new arrivals listen."

[There is a click. And then A noise. The static increases, louder and louder and louder until it almost - almost sounds like a running river before two words. Two terrible loud, blaring words.

FEED IT.]

...That was a message of welcome to our new arrivals, tourists all. For us locals, the town council has issued the following statement. "We're sorry, we let it in. Our bad. Let's hope that it gets the hint and takes them first. Try and be nice to them, who knows where the heck this is going we sure don't."

The Sheriff's Secret Police has also issued a statement but I am told that it is for hotel guest's eyes only.

[Indeed. Sure you found your room key, your guide book, your t-shirt. But have you been in your mini-fridge lately? What you didn't see the mini-fridge? Inside said mini fridge is an organ. A vital organ. A human organ with a sticky note on it saying "We'll be watching."

Of course the moment you've found it and turned your back, said fridge and said organ will be gone.]

A number of Night Vale businesses will be offering discounts to out of towners and our new visitors. The mall has grown a movie theater where I am told it will play "The latest hits, cult classics, blockbusters, and you. It will play you. It will use you like a cheap piece of material and then throw you away without a second thought." Present your room key to the ticket booth and be shown to a film of it's choice.

Rico's Pizza is offering a discount to all out of towners. Two for the price of one bowls of stewed tomatoes, mozerella balls, and hey if you're interested in actual pizza we can't really help you, no - really here come step behind the bar and push down on this lever and ignore the 1920s speakeasy noises and we'll tell you why.

The password. [papers rustle] Is "Jimmies."

It would seem that tourism and an influx of fresh blood does wonders for those of us in Night Vale. I can only hope that it will continue. Then again, as I consider this, I remind myself...there are countless untold worlds out there. Who knows how many people the hotel will bring us to laugh with, cry with, and feast upon?

Night vale knows.

Goodnight Listeners.
[Station Management Notes: Given that it is the first post of the community, station management will happily throw up scene starts for all of you to play with. A few things to note:

Characters who decide to use the toothpaste provided in the hotel room: Will grow vampire fangs that will dissolve within seventy two hours. Continued use of said toothpaste will create werewolf like tendencies and a desire for raw flesh. The only way to beat it is to stop brushing your teeth completely.

Fortunately, after a week the tooth paste will disappear and a mini-mart will appear in the hotel lobby where you can purchase real tooth paste with brand names for very expensive prices.

Characters who decide to try and use magic.: Any character who casts a spell, tries to get a telepathic read, or use any sort of technology to figure out just what the hotel is will get reruns of golden girls. The television will turn on and give you nothing but Golden Girls. It will not stop until you say you're sorry.

This might also be an excuse to drive you out of the room.

We'll never tell.

Characters who decide to visit the movie theater: Characters who decide to visit the movie theater will have the ticket taker try and take their room key. Mods will RNG 1-2. If RNG rolls a 1, you get to keep your room key. If it rolls a 2 you get to find another place to stay for one night - before it reappears in your pocket. Either way you will be denied entry to the movie theater but if you walk closer to the double doors you will smell decay. Thick, rotting, decay.

Characters who step too close will be assaulted by smells that come from the most horrible moment of your character's life. Did your character see their parent die? were they tortured? scent is one of the most powerful memory triggers. The movie theater will bring it all back and drive you away.

Characters who decide to visit Ricos: Will enjoy a nice pizza and some wheat by-products. Ricos is currently a safe zone.

IF YOUR CHARACTER ARRIVED IN A CAR OR BY SOME UNUSUAL MEANS OF TRANSPORT - FLYING, ALIENS, PONIES, ETC. ETC. You will find an envelope in your room containing 100 dollars American.

The town likes to be entertained and that was REALLY impressive.

If you wish to set your own scene starters after that or post catch-all logs please feel free to do so. This is a post to get the ball rolling. Please be prepared to be squashed.

- Station Management.]

Failure to following the rules will result in you being shoved in a sack and tossed into the closest body of water near your location.

If that fails to facilitate proper behavior then you will be asked to leave the game. Politely.

1. Please treat others as you would want to be treated.

Gaming standard and biggest roleplay rule. Be excellent to one another unless something dictates otherwise. Failing that bring it to the station management. We will do our best to come to a common solution between one another.

2. Have some kind of bio in your journal somewhere.

If you want to play anyone from Tony Stark to a minion from Despicable me that's great. Just tell us somewhere who you are and what you are all about. Please do not attempt telepathic communication, digital mental communication is currently being monitored by the Sheriff's Secret Police.

For the sake of communication, adding a way for people to get ahold of you would also be polite.

3. Warn for all the bad stuff.

There's a new movement sweeping the internet. People want to be considerate of other people's feelings. Sure they will still snipe at each other via anonymous communities, but surprisingly these have had positive results and outed potentially dangerous malcontents as well as disgusting individuals like mail men.

Conversely, we support people who want to be considerate of other people's problems and dangerous feelings. Caring about offending people seems sort of groovy and until we return to making fun of other people's weaknesses and things that offend them the local revolutionaries insist that we put all R rated anything under a cut and worn for potentially dangerous discussions.

On a serious note however the majority of the podcast is G to PG-13 rated so it should be common sense to stick to that premise.

4. If you want to contact the mods, throw things at the mods, call the mods names or generally bitch, please PM them.

Currently they have no plans of adding a plurk comment or an AIM name. Please leave all hate mail, flames, congratulations, salutations, ideas, and friendly correspondence there.

Please attach all questions to this post. We will respond to them in a timely, efficient, and considerably more serious manner.

5. If you want to leave the game, go ahead and leave.
No AC, no checks, none of that unless the game proves so popular that instead of that giant game that someone somewhere is writing this becomes your preferred playing ground we don't particularly care. Just don't eat each other, and we'll be fine.

(and if you do eat each other, please make sure to share.)

This sandbox is very much in development. Therefore if you do have questions, please don't hesitate to ask them and refer to this as much as possible. Ultimately the collective unconsciousness will produce an answer to any question that you can ask.

Therefore if you do not see a question you needed answered, ask it. And someone else will thank you even if they do not know it. Important things to be aware of:

Welcome to Night Vale
Night Vale Business Directory.